Definition is important in two respects. First, the words imply the probability of the solution. Your first definition of a problem will probably imply an impossible solution. As you gain understanding of the obstacle, you can redefine the solution as improbable.
Further understanding will lead you to realising the learning opportunities available and the solution becomes possible and finally you will hopefully see how you can thrive, which means the solution is probable.
The second part of definition is scope. If you define too much, you can paralyze yourself in your analysis of the situation. If you don't define enough, you create to great a scape of possibility to deal with. If you can figure out which way you have limited yourself, then you can adjust and compensate.
January 02, 2011
Feeling your way through an obstacle
To fix a problem, one must know what the problem is. Sometimes you will find the obstacle you thought you needed to fix is actually only a symptom of a deeper, more complicated problem. It is good to know both, but you can only know this by knowing your feelings about the obstacle, and then thinking about what those feelings tell you.
Flexibility
First, recognise that there is a hell of a lot you don't know. Next, accept that most of what you do know you will find out later is wrong. Then figure out what you can do with what you are confident you do know and be prepared to change that as you find out your knowledge was flawed, or the plan isn't work as expected. That is how you make a dynamic plan.
Do not be afraid to begin to plan, knowing that you don't know. Just accept that the plan will change as you learn and experience more.
It is rocket science
For those who find recovery easy, they don't call it recovery, they call it getting on with life. For those who find it hard, consider what your obstacle is. It may be someone, a lack of some kind of resource, ignorance, something you fear or many other possibilities. Until you can identify what your obstacle is, you can't solve it or find a way around it.
Evil thoughts?
It is not the thoughts you have, or the intention you mean, or the outcome that counts. Only the actions you choose and d acts you do which move you that count.
Moving through Recovery
Recovery is not being stagnant. It is about moving on with your life. And for it to be *your* life, your actions toward recovery must be *your* actions, *your* plan, *your* recovery. That doesn't mean you can't get help along the way, but it does mean that other people can't carry you.
A good Recovery Plan includes Risk Management
A well planned recovery path includes risk management, but includes it in a fashion that ends in the completion of your goal. If you start with risk management, you will not have a goal you are trying to achieve. Thus all decisions should be made with the successful outcome in mind, rather than avoiding anything that may be risky.
Recovery includes going "backwards"
When attempting to recover your life, all your decisions should be based on "how will this improve my situation?" This can include a backwards step that helps leads to progress. Consider parking your car. If you come in wide, and can only go forwards, you will do yourself harm. Sometimes you have to go backwards to safely go forwards.
Doing is not being
If you don't know what to do, or your are barred from doing, you feel powerless.
This is part of our human nature. We wish to control our environment to increase our safety and maximise our comfort. When we can't do this, we feel incapable, question our ability and have issues with our identity and ego.
Remember that we are Human Beings. We don't have to do. Just be.
Our being is not defined by what we do, but rather by why we do. This "why", this being, does not require us to do, it is just frustrating when we can't do.
January 01, 2011
A beginning Part 2
My maternal grandfather was an Austrian born man who studied engineering. He worked around the world, learning new languages in each port. He described his method of learning a new language as this: Move to the country, find a girl, move in with her and learn her language. He was fluent in 8 different languages.
My understanding of language acquisition is that it is actually quite hard to do. To pick up additional languages, beyond a basic child level, one must make huge changes to the brain. Falling in love releases a huge number of chemicals into the body, which includes the brain, and prompts the brain to be quite plastic. Another plasticity trick is to travel a long way and walking a lot. In both travel and falling in love, the brain is primed to learn new things, to adapt to new situations and to change quite radically.
When my maternal father went to Russia to fill the latest engineering position, he was no doubt looking for a girl to learn the language from. He found this sophisticated, incredibly beautiful Russian minor noble at a party, whom he fell madly in love with and married. Kudos to my grandmother for taming him.
They moved from Russia to France where he scored a new contract. World War Two broke out and France was invaded. This is somewhat awkward for those who have noticeably Jewish heritage.
Why is it that this war was defined as a world war? Why are so many other wars not defined as a world war? The most prolific modern history writers in our culture are from Europe, so European wars must be worse than other wars. Consider some of the wars around the Conga area in Africa - how many countries were involved with them? Or the Board War, which proceeded the first so called world war. Even Australia shipped troupes out to that war. Ah well.
So, my maternal grandfather was put into a concentration camp so that he could work on his crime of having Jewish ancestry. It was somewhat of a shock to my grandmother to discover that he had Jewish heritage and not a matter she tended to discuss with us. My understanding is that Jewish people in Russia tended to inhabit villages and not mix much with other peoples. My grandmother was quite prejudiced against them. In fact, my grandmother was quite racist.
My grandmother wanted to save her husband and so every day she would go to the camp and beg the guards to let her husband go. I don't know how long that went on for, but eventually one of the guards relented and said that he would have to leave Europe if he were let go. My grandmother went to many charity organisations looking for ways to pay for a ticket out of Europe. They all turned her away. She finally went to a Quaker family and told them of her plight. They gave her the money, she bought a ticket and my grandfather was released. They all left Europe.
My grandfather never talked about his time in the camp. He was also unable, according to my mother, to emotionally connect with people. To him, life was logic and sense.
They landed in Australia and next went to Papua New Guinea. My mother, the oldest of two, was conceived in Papua New Guinea and her parents made a decision that they wanted her born in Australia and thus they would settle down in Australia. My grandfather spoke excellent English, so this was easy for him. My grandmother spoke only Russian with a bit of French, so this was hard. She refused to learn English, as it was too difficult, and only mixed with Russian peoples. My grandfather band her from seeing them until she learned English and as I understand it, she never mixed with them again.
She learned English, slowly. This was facilitated by her getting a job. She got the job because at the time Russia was seen as a great ally, and she was very picturesque lady.
My understanding of language acquisition is that it is actually quite hard to do. To pick up additional languages, beyond a basic child level, one must make huge changes to the brain. Falling in love releases a huge number of chemicals into the body, which includes the brain, and prompts the brain to be quite plastic. Another plasticity trick is to travel a long way and walking a lot. In both travel and falling in love, the brain is primed to learn new things, to adapt to new situations and to change quite radically.
When my maternal father went to Russia to fill the latest engineering position, he was no doubt looking for a girl to learn the language from. He found this sophisticated, incredibly beautiful Russian minor noble at a party, whom he fell madly in love with and married. Kudos to my grandmother for taming him.
They moved from Russia to France where he scored a new contract. World War Two broke out and France was invaded. This is somewhat awkward for those who have noticeably Jewish heritage.
Why is it that this war was defined as a world war? Why are so many other wars not defined as a world war? The most prolific modern history writers in our culture are from Europe, so European wars must be worse than other wars. Consider some of the wars around the Conga area in Africa - how many countries were involved with them? Or the Board War, which proceeded the first so called world war. Even Australia shipped troupes out to that war. Ah well.
So, my maternal grandfather was put into a concentration camp so that he could work on his crime of having Jewish ancestry. It was somewhat of a shock to my grandmother to discover that he had Jewish heritage and not a matter she tended to discuss with us. My understanding is that Jewish people in Russia tended to inhabit villages and not mix much with other peoples. My grandmother was quite prejudiced against them. In fact, my grandmother was quite racist.
My grandmother wanted to save her husband and so every day she would go to the camp and beg the guards to let her husband go. I don't know how long that went on for, but eventually one of the guards relented and said that he would have to leave Europe if he were let go. My grandmother went to many charity organisations looking for ways to pay for a ticket out of Europe. They all turned her away. She finally went to a Quaker family and told them of her plight. They gave her the money, she bought a ticket and my grandfather was released. They all left Europe.
My grandfather never talked about his time in the camp. He was also unable, according to my mother, to emotionally connect with people. To him, life was logic and sense.
They landed in Australia and next went to Papua New Guinea. My mother, the oldest of two, was conceived in Papua New Guinea and her parents made a decision that they wanted her born in Australia and thus they would settle down in Australia. My grandfather spoke excellent English, so this was easy for him. My grandmother spoke only Russian with a bit of French, so this was hard. She refused to learn English, as it was too difficult, and only mixed with Russian peoples. My grandfather band her from seeing them until she learned English and as I understand it, she never mixed with them again.
She learned English, slowly. This was facilitated by her getting a job. She got the job because at the time Russia was seen as a great ally, and she was very picturesque lady.
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